Left the house at 7:30 this morning. Just started a six-month jury duty obligation. Only the second week to call in and my panel was called. Then, for the first time ever, I was called to serve on the jury. And made it through a couple dozen juror replacements. Ended up distinguishing myself, along with one other hardy soul, by being one of two dissenting votes, resulting in a deadlocked jury and therefore a mistrial.
Came home after that very long day and painted this:
Speaking honestly here, I'm really proud of myself and my actions today. Part of my prayers were to have the grace and insight and courage to give this trial the diligence and openness and attention that I would want, if I were the defendant. I'm not saying I'm any better than any other juror, but truth be told, many of them, in the jury room, violated the instructions the judge gave us. In the face of that at-times pointed opposition, it was extremely hard to continue to stick to the facts and to the charge and instructions the judge had given us.
But I've been believing in myself more, and worrying about other people's acceptance and approval of me, way less. All this painting for the past 39 days has played a bit part. May sound weird: painting helped me be a faithful juror.
But for 39 days I have painted my true self. I have believed in me.
So when the world called on me to do something hard, I was ready.
These colors really show the joy inside, tired but sturdy and shining bright.