I'm proud of how I've moved through this day.
Temps in the high 40's and gray all day, with spits of rain, did NOT make for a day that spoke easily to my soul. Yet my sweet daughter and I went ahead with our plans to visit yard sales around town.
Heading to the different locations took me past my ex-husband's place, his new girlfriend's place, and past the homes of two men who have figured largely in my life since the divorce. One of them is out of my life, in a harsh and uncomfortable way. The other seems too busy with his "previous" life to make room enough for me. All this kept me sorta off-balance throughout the day, but I thought and prayed and talked my way through. The emotional discomfort did NOT keep me down.
I bought very little. Instead, seeing other people's accumulations left me hungry to keep going on the work in my own home, of stripping out years of Stuff.
When my daughter and I got home, instead of flopping in tiredness, we challenged each other to work on our own messes for an hour, then another, then one more. I lit one of the 25-cent candles I bought, put on the 50-cent CD, and plowed through a bunch of Stuff. It felt great.
Before I settled in for the evening with supper and something to read, I painted. It felt so good to WANT to produce something artistic. This time I wanted my liquid watercolors, and I wanted ocean colors. At the end, purple insisted on joining the fun. I used my "blow/spit/drool-through-a-straw" technique, only I tried wiggling the straw as I blew. I like the wavy stuff that resulted.
In the midst of all this Sorting Through Stuff ( which nearly always includes finding old cards from my former husband telling me how much he loves me--I call those "land mines"), I love that I am also producing a 5x7 piece of loveliness.
This beauty continues to sustain me.
4 comments:
Your "loveliness" is truly lovely, Maureen...such a delight to view.
Your pictures are beautiful and I love the picture of you twirling. What a gorgeous dress.
I just went back to read all your 100x100 entries and I'm quite amazed. I don't know where you're going with it, but it seems to be bringing up a lot of emotion. It seems cathartic.
Keep going. Follow wherever the paint leads. I think you're going somewhere good.
Thank you, Leone, for visiting and leaving a comment! I love that dress and that twirling, too. It captured a moment I felt really happy. I'm hoping for more of those moments!
Rowena, thank you soooo much for your supportive comments. . .I think it isn't that the painting is bringing up emotion as much as it is giving me a vehicle for expressing some stuff inside me that goes beyond even words. "Follow where the paint leads." I LIKE that . .
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