Only four days into this project and it's already part of me. Some sort of oasis in the desert.
I have finally started making serious inroads into sorting through 30+ years of Stuff, complicated by the fact that the marriage that produced the Stuff didn't survive, but the Stuff did. It's really hard to sort through what should have been souvenirs of those decades but is instead sad reminders of what is no longer.
Also, opposite-sex relationships since divorce have not gone well. They, too, seem to be being shed, one by one. Or at the very least, they are not turning out the way I'd hoped.
So, in the midst of the past week of all sorts of housecleaning and soulsorting, I have taken water and color and splooshed on paper. Yesterday and today I worked on the pieces all throughout the day, a dab here and a swirl there.
With the sorting, I'm letting go of so much that I once dreamed would be wonderful. At the same time, I am allowing myself to play with the simplest of elements, on one 5x7 piece of paper a day. Downstairs go through a musty box of old papers and letters and anniversary cards. Then go upstairs and see how lemon yellow looks next to raspberry and spring green.
Making beauty with the same hands that are sifting through emotional wreckage and worn-out dreams is somehow saving me.