Today has been even colder and rainier than yesterday, and I have struggled with more tears and discouragement.
BUT, (and that is meant to be a BIG but), I have talked and prayed and cried and painted my way through the sadnesses.
When I got home from church, (and some human contacts that jump-started the tears), I heard myself saying, again, "I gotta paint." I went really wet on wet: saturated the page first, and then used liquid watercolors. Got a really soft focus that I like. The colors I just had to use were my sunshine yellow and the passionate pink of my heart.
When I got what I wanted on the page, my insides still needed to paint more, so I pulled out my 9x9 pad . . . used a calligraphy pen to scratch an insistent affirmation all over . . .
then splooshed my AquaMaureen colors . . . they puddled and ran.
The paper wasn't really thick enough for so much water, but then again, my life doesn't seem absorbent enough for all the tears it's had to accept. But it has. And this paper will eventually dry, swollen and not at all flat, but so what?
Once again, something way deep inside me is insisting on being heard and expressed, and words won't do.
Just colors, wet and wild and true.