Thursday, December 3, 2009

Almost Midnight

The last few minutes of today trickle away. The rational part of me says, "Be quiet. Tomorrow you'll regret saying anything. Besides, what you're feeling is likely due to 'an undigested bit of beef.'" (courtesy of Mr. Scrooge).

Well, to my rational self I say: phbtphbtphbt (or however you spell out the sound of blowing raspberries.)

All too often I have overlooked, stepped around, stepped on fresh new beginnings because I didn't recognize them as such. At best I might have credited them as momentary blips of fantasy, too impractical for Real Life, or (here's the meanest one), not something I could really pull off.

Well. All that nonsense is gonna change. HAS changed. As of now.

I'm declaring publicly, right here and now, that I have abandoned my sweet real self long enough. So many years trying to please others. Trying to behave so that they won't leave me. Didn't work anyway. And all along my sweet self was waiting for me to notice her and give a thought or two about pleasing HER. About MY not leaving HER.

God made me to be me. My only true job/calling/mission is to be the me God made. I'm the only one who can do it. If I don't be me, then I leave a hole in God's universe.

And that's all I have to say for tonight. The clock has just struck midnight and I did NOT turn into a pumpkin. I turned into ME.

[most of the photos sprinkled throughout were taken a couple days ago on a walk by my beloved creek.]


A.Marie said...

Gorgeous pictures and such an eloquent post! I believe that God gives us a winter-time in order for us to prune ourselves of everything that is unnecessary so that come spring-time, we may flourish and bloom! :)

Anonymous said...

It feels as if I haven't been here in years. How are you dear Maureen? We've been busy with our Christmas give, but I will be around more often now that we have succeeded. :)

aquamaureen said...

Dear A.Marie: thank you so much for your sweet compliments. They mean so much. And oh my, I think your comments about seasons of our hearts and lives are right on target . . .What I'm trying to do is keep the whole process in mind, 'cause some days it feels like winter has gone on forever!! and I'm pruned down to a scraggly little twig . . . but because God is God, I can (must!) trust that green and lush and fruitful is coming, and that actually, this "twig" time is a necessary part of the whole.

Thank you so much for reminding me of this.

Dear Tabitha--I've missed you!! I've been able to stop by your blog for quick reads, but haven't left you any love, via comments, in a while. Sorry I let myself get so busy!! And your Christmas give sounds so wonderful.

As we each walk our individual journeys, fellowship along the way is pretty important. . . so I'll work to stay in better contact with you, because that really lifts me up :)

Thank you both, A.Marie and Tabitha, for leaving comments. Keeps me from feeling as if I"m talking to myself!!

Anonymous said...

You are never talking to yourself. I visit and will be visiting more often. ((Hugs))

Sharon said...

Welcome to the world, sweet Maureen. :)

The pics are awesome--especially the one of the water. Is the orb in the one pic the sun or the moon?

As you continue to be who God created, you will "shed the old skin" of hurts and wounds and now unneeded protective reactions...just like a snake rubs its head on a rock to break open the old wornout skin and then just slithers right out of it leaving the skin inside out and behind him.

That was a long convoluted sentence, but I hope it makes sense. If not, email me!

I love you.

aquamaureen said...

Thank you, Sharon--your "welcome to the world" sounds like what people say when a baby is born--feels very appropriate!!!

And yes, your sentence was convoluted, and I believe I followed it perfectly!!!! More and more I "study to show myself approved unto God"--and that makes all the difference.

love you, sister

aquamaureen said...

Sharon--the moon

Elizabeth said...

Great post and beautiful pictures...the second one really arrested my attention! Love you!