Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Once Again, Ouch


Well, golly darn and gee whiz. I'm in Ouchland again. After my last post, I was intending for the next one to be upbeat. Jolly. Full of joy.

Oops. Didn't quite make it. That's why I put in this oh-so-lovely picture of the last bouquet of California poppies of the season. I'm trying to make myself smile. It's nearly impossible for me to be sad, when I look at these beauties.




Along with some hard work on my house, like ripping up carpet, moving heavy furniture . . . .
. . . and painting walls . . .
I'm also doing some renovation of the soul. Some reconstruction of the heart. And it's hard. I pricked my fingers on some carpet tacks earlier this evening. I can handle that. What really hurts is the follow-up email I just sent in which my bruised heart spoke.
In my half-century so far, I have not accumulated a very good track record with men. I do my best to give honesty and kindness, love and compassion. But so far, that sort of offering has pretty much backfired.
I won't give up. That's just not in me. But I do wish I could learn more of what I'm doing wrong.
In the meantime, I'll pull up some more nasty old carpet.

What are you working on in YOUR life?

6 comments:

Tabitha said...

Hello my friend (=
It is so nice to get a chance to visit with you. I have missed visiting. At this moment in my life I am working on forgiveness. It's hard, but for my own sake it is what I must do. (=

aquamaureen said...

Hello, sweet Tabitha--it's been too long since we visited!! I'm so proud of you for working on forgiveness . . . it might be one of the most important things in our emotional and spiritual lives. In one of my Bible studies, we are reading about Joseph--he had sooooooooooooooo many things and people and events to forgive, didn't he????? What I'm learning is that God had a HUGE plan for Joseph, and those things that needed forgivenss were actually "small" parts of that big divine purpose God had for Joseph. But when we are in the middle of it all, it's not easy. So, Tabitha girl, I am glad for you, very glad, that you are working on forgiveness. So good to hear from you.

Sharon said...

I am not ignoring the sadness in your post, Maureen, you know that. But I loved seeing these recent pics of you...and the lovely yellow flowers! You look so good...and joy-filled!

aquamaureen said...

Thank you, sweet sister Sharon, for seeing the joy in me . . .

Lynelle said...

Dear Maureen,
I am sorry about your 'ouch'. Yeh, we can learn from them and grow from them but they hurt so much and sometimes looking on the bright side takes too much energy. May you sense Jesus' solidarity with you in the 'ouch'.
With love & prayers, Lynelle

aquamaureen said...

Lynelle, what a delight to hear from you . . yes, solidarity with Jesus is a wonderful balm to a bruised soul. . . thank you for reminding me of who is with me always.