That's a question I've asked myself often these past few months. A few blogreaders have even said they've missed me.
Well, I've missed me, too.
And the answer to "Why?" has become clear after much introspection.
[pause here for a floral interlude]
The answer to "Why?" is . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . because.
Yep. That's the long and short of it: because.
I remember when my children were little and traveled frequently on avenues of wonderment and inquiry. These journeys of theirs often set off waves of questions that, in turn, triggered much wonderment inside me. Sometimes what I was thinking and feeling was so large and complex that I couldn't find a way to answer their questions except with a feeble "because."
(Hey . . . something just occurred to me: maybe they didn't want answers from me, so much as a companion on their wonder-full adventures . . . )
Anyway, this current question of why I haven't posted on my blog since May 7th has engendered the same overflow of feelings too big for words, at least for right now.
I went back yesterday and re-read my last post, from May. Honestly, (and hopefully without sounding as if I'm full of myself), I was pretty impressed with that entry. The woman writing it seemed pretty on target with her understanding of crossroads in life, and choices.
For now, what I CAN say, is that that woman made some choices these past few months, some pretty brave and messy and raw and beautiful choices. The road she took then, has led her to this place, now.
She will likely choose, at some point, to share some of her adventures in the Land of Because, because she wants to understand them better, and for her, sharing often brings clarity. Also, because those travels WERE brave and deserve to be honored.
How are you doing, on your journey? I'd love to hear.
But for now, thanks to encouragement from a very very VERY special fellow-journeyer, that woman is painting again, and can once again see sunlight, even on a cloudy day.
How are you doing, on your journey? I'd love to hear.
7 comments:
Welcome back!
Thank you, Felicia. It feels good. How are you doing?
i'm glad you've decided to start writing again! i DO have a question though: were you lying on your table top because your house was flooded? or, maybe you had decided to do some dusting, and couldn't find the duster? anyways, it's GOOD to see your photography, and to read your words!!
Thanks, JimBob, for visiting and leaving a comment :) . . .naw, the house wasn't flooded . . and dusting is almost against my religion :) . . .my daughter was taking "before and after" pictures of a whirlwind tidying we had just done in order to use that wonderfully big table to paint on, and my body, all of its own accord, just hopped up onto the table for the "after" picture . .
Glad you are back to posting! Missed you. The yellow flowers are scrumptious--sunflowers??
I will joyfully join you in the Land of Because. And oh, wasn't that studio table comfy?! (Okay, maybe not...)
So good to hear your thoughts here again...you have such a transparent way of sharing.
Yes, Sharon, those are my sunflowers, from my crack garden (i.e. the flowers that grow in the cracks in my sidewalk and driveway!)
And thank you, Amanda, for noticing and appreciating my "transparency." It comes at a price, but it's worth it.
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