This past week has passed pretty much like the few before it: still a little sick, still a little sad, still having wonderful creative moments, still experiencing times of deep sweetness with family and friends.
Yet a melancholy persists.
I hope what I'm about to say next comes out right: in the very many years that I've been working hard at surviving the life experiences I've been in, I have read, listened, prayed, studied a very very very great deal. (Here comes the maybe weird part). Because of that multitude of dedicated effort, I think I KNOW whatever it is I need to know, in order to be emotionally stable and peaceful and productive.
So, why am I not (stable, peaceful, etc.)? Yes, I agree, I do have moments when everything works well, but why has the balance not shifted, and stayed, on the side of emotional health?
Still yet more prayer and listening and humility has brought me to this conclusion: all those ideas that I KNOW, I need to believe and practice. With greater regularity. With deeper confidence.
So that's what I'm gonna focus on. My head is tired with all the knowing. My heart and soul are now gonna take the lead. I can envision more smiles, more vocalized gratitude, more laughter, more hugging, even if I've gotta hug myself.
Each day, I will act out my reenergized belief that God is Love itself, that God loves me, that God needs me, and that God lifts me up, every single moment.
And I will know (oops!! make that BELIEVE) that each one of you can feel that same Love lifting you, all throughout each day.
P.S. I'm all caught up on my Poem-a-Day challenge, and only 2 days behind on my WRITE:100, with a total of over 18,000 words so far.
1 comment:
Gorgeous pics--especially the 1st one with the vibrant mixed colors. Have you thought of painting that photo?
Glad you are focusing on doing what you know. Helpful terms to me are surrender...yield...accept...you and I have talked about that before.
I love you, and I love how you love God.
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